Be Yourself (Pt 1)?

I'm trying something new. Often I don't write because I seem to need a lot of time to get a post finished. Today I thought I'd give myself a time limit of 15 minutes. A post in 15 minutes... this will force me to think on my feet and not over-analyze what I'm writing (which I sometimes do.) Anyway, two minutes are down already so better keep going.

One of the things that has really begun to surface again and again in my times of personal reflection and meditation is the inherent need in all of us to 'be yourself.' I am 35 years old and for the first time - not ever, but in a long time - I feel as though I am reconnecting to the person I was created to be. Throughout life, social scripting, life experiences, culture, hurts, other people's expectations - the list goes on - all act as external pressures or forces that try to push us into their molds, and often those molds are not helpful in allowing us to truly express who we really are. I am convinced that many people live their lives attempting to be the person they feel they are expected to be, without really connecting to the person God has created them to be. I know this analogy may be overused, but I really see myself as a butterfly emerging from a cocoon. That's where I feel I am in this 'season' in my life. I keep getting that mental picture when I think about where I'm headed at the moment, and at first, I thought 'What a waste... it's taken me 35 years to get to the place where the butterfly in me is emerging. Why couldn't it have happened earlier?' The temptation was to 'write off' the earlier years of my life as 'useless' and then the thought occurred to me, 'EVERY stage in a butterfly's life is vital in getting to the end result. Nothing is wasted!' The larvae stage is just as important as the adult stage and even though we think of the butterfly as the 'best' phase of life, there would be no butterfly without the previous phases bringing it to the place of maturity. With this thought, I relaxed a bit and I feel much better now.

In regards to peace, I think that the sheer decision to pursue a life of peace has been instrumental in bringing me to the place where I feel the 'real Mel' can emerge. I haven't felt so comfortable in my own skin in years. I haven't cared so little about what other people think of me in years. I realized that much of my own life has been spent trying to be the person other people wanted me to be rather than the person I was created from the beginning to be.

Anyway, my 15 minutes is up. I will talk more about this - maybe - later. Bye for now.