Powerful People - Part 2 - Journal Entry

In the last post, I shared some of my thoughts on powerful people and now I feel 'prompted' to copy some of what I've written in my personal journal about my revelation on power and identity. Some of it is the same as what I've just said but I am hoping this will bless you as you read it:

From my journal on the morning of December 13, 2011:

I am a powerful person. Any healthy relationship I am in will give room to that power. Any relationship where I feel power being 'stripped' from me is unhealthy. I am a powerful person. I have a voice. This world needs me to be truly myself. I am a unique gift to this earth. I am discovering who I am and it is that I am powerful - it is part of my identity. Jesus is NOT intimidated by my power or my voice. He is infinitely secure in Himself, His power, and His voice and is totally excited and thrilled to see me find my voice. He is empowering me to be the best, most powerful version of myself possible. He is not intimidated by my passion or fire - in fact, He LOVES it! He encourages it! He loves how I love Him. He loves my expressions of worship, He loves my abandonment to Him and His will for my life. He will not EVER change His mind about me. He will not leave when I have a bad day. He will not quit when I'm tired and feel as though I cannot go on. He will not quit. He is faithful even when I am not. He is loyal and strong when I feel/am weak. He has empowered me to be like Him. As He is, so am I in this world and He is powerful, full of ALL authority and He delights in calling out who I really am...

I wrote a bit more but this is the part I felt to share. Think about who Jesus really is. If you're not sure, ask Him. I promise you, He is way over and above the 'good' you think He is. I cannot express in English how amazing He is - He has to be experienced. He is THAT GOOD!

Selah.

Powerful People

Lately I've been getting some massive insights into relationships, thanks to some of the amazing people and teaching here at BSSM. Wow! I've heard this said a few times now, but the penny really dropped another level in my heart the other day: good relationships require there to be TWO powerful people involved. I LOVE this! This single revelation has just unlocked some major doors in my thinking and therefore, my ability to relate to others. I have spent much of my life believing (on some level) that relationships often only have room for ONE powerful person (and many times that person wasn't me!) Not that I have always lived as the 'victim' - I hate 'victim' mentality and so for quite a few years now, I've really worked on 'owning' my stuff and my issues in relationships that I'm involved in. I truly believe in personal responsibility and the freedom that comes with choosing to live proactively in my environment and interactions with others. Despite 'owning' my own junk, though, I still have struggled with feeling some level of guilt for having my own voice or for wanting to say 'Hey, that's NOT alright' when someone does something that hurts me. I didn't think I was allowed to say 'Stop! I don't like that' or 'This is how your actions are affecting me in this moment.' I knew it was good and 'right' to deal with MY reactions to any given situation but I've also thought, to be a good person, 'turning the other cheek' meant treat-me-however-you-like-and-I-will-just-sit-there-and-passively-take-it. But now, with this revelation on powerful people, I'm feeling a whole new level of boldness come over me.

As long as I live with any sense of being LESS than powerful, I am still living with some level of victim mentality. As long as my power is in the hands of someone else, I am not able to be fully accountable for my actions because, after all, what can I do if I have no power myself? I have had so many massive breakthroughs in my understanding on freedom, and this is another one.

So, what does this mean for my future? Where to from here? I am going to step out bravely into this new territory of power. and actually RISK making mistakes on the way. Once upon a time, the fear of making mistakes would've left me almost paralyzed with fear and I would have taken any measure necessary to make sure that I didn't mess up, to make sure I got it 'right.' However, that seems to me to be such a 'lesser' way of life. I realized that Jesus isn't as concerned about me 'getting it right' as He is about my living a wholehearted life in absolute trust in His goodness and HIS ability to keep me from falling (Jude 1:24-25.) After all, His finished work on the cross has made me righteous and put my in right-standing with Him - apart from my works! Refusing to step out and take risk isn't noble, it's cowardly - and I'm no coward. I am a powerful person with a powerful voice and a powerful purpose in this earth. Will I make mistakes along the way? Sure! But knowing I have power to make mistakes also means I have the power to clean up the mess and get up again and 'have another go.'

So what about you? Are you living as a powerful person - in your life? In your relationships? Do you truly believe that you are able to make decisions about where your life is going? Or are you held captive by the fear of failure or by the hopeless sensation that others - people or circumstances - hold the keys to your future (and you are just the prisoner of their mistakes or 'bad luck')? If you fall into the latter category, let me just tell you that no matter what has happened in the past, even what has happened 5 minutes ago, only has the amount of power over you that you allow it to have. You are NOT powerless. You have a free will and that in itself is tremendous. You can get up and walk out of the situation you are in. You can choose THIS DAY that you will make that change, get that job, walk in love, take responsibility for YOU. Other people or 'life' may've dealt you a poor hand, but if you are reading this post, God wants you to know that no matter where you've come from, the fact that you are alive today and breathing, the fact that you woke up this morning means that you've been given another chance. As long as you have breath in your body, you have a choice, you have power. What you do with it is up to you. :)

Synergy

I haven't written in so long and I thought it was about time I updated this blog!

I am so fascinated by the concept of synergy. You know - the whole 1+1=3 (or more) concept? In Biblical terms, I like to think of it as 'one can put 1,000 to flight but two can put 10,000 to flight' or exponential effectiveness. I can't say I understand it very well, but nonetheless I am intrigued. I think of sports stadiums and the 'energy' that is generated when you put multiple thousands of fans together all screaming for their team. Of course, you can generate excitement in the comfort of your own living room when you're the only one watching the game on tv, but it doesn't compare to the 'feeling' you get when you're with other people. That 'sense' of the whole being greater than the sum of its parts is what I'm talking about.

When I look at synergy in my own life, this is what I see. Now that I'm here at Bethel, I'm in an environment where I'm surrounded with like-minded, passionate people who want similar things from their lives and the feeling of acceleration as a result of this 'interaction' is at times almost tangible. The energy here is amazing. It's like a combined total of every individual's breakthrough in God is all around me and I can access it practically effortlessly. Sometimes I am just aware of the incredible breakthrough and Presence that the people around me carry and then I wonder, 'What is it that I bring to the table?' When I think back over the past few years of my life I must admit, I've been through A LOT! I know that I have personal breakthrough that is released wherever I go, I just wish I could step outside of my body and see what it is because I know it's there, I'm just not always sure what it is.

When God brought us here, I knew He had good things in store. I feel such a sense of community and family and when I combine that with what I understand about synergy, I see how being linked in with other people is just so powerful. I can see possibilities opening up to me (even if just in 'mental' form at the moment) that I couldn't even conceive of before I came here because the vital components in the equation are the people with whom I'm involved. I find myself in situations here where I have so much freedom to be myself that I didn't realize how much I was NOT myself in other scenarios until I was released to just be me. We weren't created for hardship. We were created for paradise. Sure, we can learn to thrive no matter where we are; however, if God wanted us to struggle, He wouldn't have put man in the Garden of Eden which was paradise on earth.

Where am I going with all this? I'm not entirely sure yet. I just know that the more I engage with people around me who are in their own interactive relationship with God, my life opens up - blooms, if you will - effortlessly, simply by being in an environment that is conducive to my growth. Effortless, positive, permanent change that comes simply by relating to others - synergy-zing - so that my breakthrough combined with your breakthrough results in multiplied impact wherever we go. I feel like I'm touching the tip of an iceberg and I'm sure this will surface again in other posts but for now, that's one of the things I'm pondering. :)

Casting the Care

You know, I just don't care anymore.

Yup, you heard me right.

I've let go of my cares and discovered that when I really do 'cast the care' to Jesus, I'm actually left with nothing to care about. I've just moved my whole family from one side of the world to another in a matter of a few weeks and have walked through what has looked like an impossible situation to get here (here being California.) One of the biggest keys I've learned through this mammoth process is that when the number of impossibilities that you are facing hits a certain point, you either give up your vision - not recommended - or you say 'None of this is going to be possible in my own strength so I give up trying to figure out HOW it is going to happen and I'm just going to stick with the One Who does know!'

I had people actually say to me when we were in the process of moving 'I have no idea how you guys are going to do this! If you get there it will be an absolute miracle because I can't see a way that you can make it!' Praise God! Impossible is nothing to Him! I am still facing more hurdles now that we are here but with each step that I see His faithfulness displayed, another level of trust springs up in my heart for Him. I have no doubt that the reason we are where we are today has been from building on the faithfulness that God has displayed towards us over the past few years. We've been able to grow in our experiences with Him and just like the Israelites would build alters as a remembrance to the mighty acts that God had done in their midst, I have similar signposts in my life that I can refer to and say 'God was truly faithful and made a way when there was no way.'

To be honest, now that I've started really casting my cares (and not just saying I am but then continuing to worry about things anyway) I feel a bit 'out of sorts.' I mean, I've spent so much of my life worrying about things that I'm not sure what to do now that I've let them go and decided to let Jesus sort it out. It almost feels as though I'm doing something wrong. Like, is it really responsible for me just to not care about this stuff? I know the Bible says God has the hairs of my head numbered and knows my needs before I even ask and delights in giving me the kingdom, but can it really be THIS easy? Seriously, if I don't spend me time worrying, what other things could I spend my days doing? Creating? Dreaming?

Although I may still take awhile to get my head around this new lifestyle, I have every intention to stay on this new path of carefree living. It certainly helps with living in peace, even if it does feel a little naughty to say "I don't care anymore." I can't help but think that this may be a return to childlike faith. I mean, how many children spend their days worrying? My little boys who are 2 and 3 don't worry about anything, except perhaps who got the bigger bowl of ice cream at dinner. Worry is something we learn and I'm sure it has shortened countless people's lives as they've carried concerns that were not meant for them.

Don't get me wrong. I have by no means perfected this lifestyle yet, but I am certainly bouncing back faster and faster once I realize I've taken on board something that was never meant to be my burden to bear anyway. Jesus said His yoke was easy and His burden light. Most Christians I know are so weighed down with the cares of this world that they don't even have time to genuinely reach out to the people and situations that they SHOULD care about.

Since we've been here in California, my mind has felt as though it is undergoing almost continuous transformation. I'm not complaining, I'm just trying to keep up. I feel as though this 'carefree' thing is actually going to have a significant impact on how I live from here on, it's just in baby stages now so I think the long term results may take a little longer to see. For those of you who are reading this post, I dare you to just try it. Try truly 'not caring' about some of the dramas in your lives and see what happens. You may not be able to do it for more than a few minutes or hours at first but I promise you, it gets easier as you go and it's a much 'lighter' way to live. :)

Vicarious Christianity?

Earlier this year, the Holy Spirit asked me to stop reading. If you know me very well, you know what an interesting request this is as I usually have one - or three - books 'on the go' at any given time. Nonetheless, that's what He said. I realized that I had become almost addicted to learning, knowledge, and getting more insight from the experiences of other people. 'What's so bad about that?' you may ask. My answer would be, 'Absolutely nothing, unless it has served to replace experiencing life - or more specifically in my case, God - for myself.'

The Bible, or any other book for that matter, was never meant to be a substitute for relationship with God. That may come as a shock for many people as most of us in the Christian world have been trained from an early age to sing 'The B-I-B-L-E. Yes, that's the book for me. I stand alone on the Word of God, the B-I-B-L-E.' There is only one small flaw in that song. The B-I-B-L-E is NOT the Word of God. Yes, you heard me right. Just try this little exercise with me for a moment: 'In the beginning was the Bible, and the Bible was with God and the Bible was God.' Or perhaps, 'And the Bible became flesh and dwelt among us.' Something wrong? Please understand, I am not trying to be 'provocative' for the sake of it. I'm just wanting people to stop and think for a minute. We were created to have a relationship with the Author of the book, not the book itself.

Now, before you think I've gone off the deep end, the Holy Spirit didn't actually tell me to stop reading the Bible (I just threw that previous bit in for you to mull over if you hadn't already thought of it.) Instead, He asked me to stop reading about everyone else's understanding of the Bible, or even their understanding on life and how it works. It hasn't been entirely easy for me to stop either as I was in the habit of reading almost daily. If I wasn't reading, then I was listening to some preacher speaking on living a more fulfilled Christian life which isn't wrong in itself either. I still had personal times with God one-on-one, but I saw He wanted to tip the scales even more in favor of the 'one-on-one' time and less in favor of the 'everyone else's opinion' time. I have faced some major life decisions over the past few months and I realized that everyone else's views on life were affecting the 'signal' I was receiving from the Holy Spirit. As I turned the outside voices down, I suddenly became aware of how much I was influenced by other people's thoughts. I would've considered myself fairly 'attuned' to the sound of God's voice anyway, but when I turned my attention from the voices of other people talking ABOUT God to hearing Him for myself in this new way, I suddenly experienced a whole new desire to hear God, know God, experience God directly - face to face.

Christianity - in the New Covenant - was never meant to be a vicarious experience. We aren't meant to relate to God primarily through a prophet or 'man' of God. Sure, in the Old Testament, that's all people had. If we're not aware of what the terms of the New Covenant are, though, we will continue to believe that we need to hear God through someone else. One of my favorite scriptures in the New Testament has actually been quoted from the Old Testament and it's found in Hebrews chapters 8 and 10 and it says this (I'll quote from chapter 8:10-11):

10This is the covenant I will make with the house of Israel

after that time, declares the Lord.

I will put my laws in their minds

and write them on their hearts.

I will be their God,

and they will be my people.

11No longer will a man teach his neighbor,

or a man his brother, saying, ‘Know the Lord,’

because they will all know me,

from the least of them to the greatest.

What this scripture says to me is that I am able to know God personally, for myself. In fact, I should know God personally because He's said I would know Him and that He would guide me internally rather than externally. Will I benefit from the other members of His Body? Absolutely. Will I be able to draw from other people's relationships with Him and apply what they've seen in Him to my life? I certainly hope so. I'm not advocating shutting out other people. I'm just saying that other people's experiences with God shouldn't be the defining points for MY relationship with Him.

I will admit, it took a few weeks to get used to not turning to a book or CD when I had a few spare minutes because that was what I was accustomed to doing. However, I also developed this hunger to know God on an even deeper level than before. I don't want to leave this earth only to discover when I get to heaven that I had lived my life through other people's lenses and not through direct encounters with my heavenly Father that were custom-designed for ME.

Will I read books again? Yes. In fact, I'm reading one now. However, in the past I would've unconsciously tended to exalt this person's experience over my own because after all, they are a 'published author' whereas now, I tend to read with an attitude of 'What do You want to say to me through this, Holy Spirit?' I am finding the answer to be varied. Sometimes it's much of what I'm reading, Other times it's only a sentence or two.

Bottom line, for me, was that I needed a paradigm adjustment, as we all do from time to time. The books were necessary for a time but there came a point where the things that used to 'help' me became the very hindrance to the relationship I was seeking. I don't know if I'll ever view books the same way I used to. Perhaps I will. Perhaps I won't. It doesn't really matter, to be honest. Sometimes you have to let go of the former things to have the new thing and from where it stands right now, this has been a decision that I think I will look back on as a significant one, even a turning point in my life. Ask me in a few years and I'll let you know. :)

Grace

I know this is a blog on peace but this entry is about grace. I read a quote by Bill Johnson the other day that got me thinking. It said, 'Grace is not the ability to keep the law better. It is the enabling Presence that comes from favor to do what only God can do.' Like I said, that got me thinking. I've read some wonderful books on grace before, my favorite being Grace: The Power to Change by Jim Richards and I know he talks about this same thing in this book. On many occasions, though, I realize how I am still trying- through some good old elbow grease and determination - to just live my life 'better' and then calling it the grace of God. Sure, there will be some God thrown into the mix, but I have this growing hunger inside to realize the true grace of God and to see its outworking in my life. I want to do what 'only God can do' and I don't want to be left with ANY doubt who did it. I understand why Paul gloried in his weaknesses. When you know that you know that you only got through or accomplished what you did because of the grace of God, then that's when He can truly get the glory for your life. I know that I'm someone who is what you'd call 'gifted' and that is wonderful in many respects, but I also am not sure when I'm just doing something because I'm naturally good at it and when it's actually God's ability at work in me.

I've been rereading some John G Lake sermons recently and I love the thought processes he went through. He asked a lot of questions that provokes me to ask a lot of questions. One thing he wrestled with, and now I'm wrestling with too, is what makes Christianity different from all other religions. I have seen people use 'the Secret' to draw wealth and healing and fame to them, I've seen people like Kriss Angel do amazing stunts using mind over matter. Yet, I know that if people who don't know Jesus can do these things, there is more and I'm sure it has to do with the grace of God at work in me. John Lake came to the conclusion that Christianity is totally supernatural and that this is what separates it from all other religions. When Jesus rose again after being made MY sin and conquering death and hell, he ascended to the Father and now lives in an eternal glorified state and His power is at work in me to accomplish the SAME THING. Sin is conquered in me. Death is conquered in me. Sickness, disease, poverty and every curse is conquered in me. He has sent His Spirit in me to make me as He is NOW. I am only touching the tip of the iceberg I know, and my understanding of this is in an infantile state, but I KNOW that this is key. I don't know many- if any- Christians who are really living in this reality and it's only through reading these sermons and then Bill's quote the other day that the pieces are even 'falling into place' in a greater dimension in my life but I know that I'm onto something. It's big and it's going to change my life so watch this space... the grace of God is at work in me and I'm going to let it do what it's meant to do. I expect to see Him do things in me that I know beyond all shadow of doubt are His works, not mine. I'm expecting that I will learn to have more of a 'hands off' apporach when it comes to running my life, and I'm excited. Maybe this blog will have to change to one about 'grace and peace' but then again, that wouldn't be such a bad idea. ;)

Overwhelmed on My Birthday!

I am just in awe of the goodness of God. I am so overcome with His love at times that I feel like I'm going to explode with praise in response to His utterly overwhelming love for me. FOR ME. Not just love in general like 'God loves everybody' but with the personal experience of His love burning and pursuing and chasing me down every minute of every day. Seriously, I can't think of ANY plausible reason why someone wouldn't want a relationship with Jesus... unless of course they just haven't seen Him for themselves. I understand why people wouldn't want the religious version of Jesus that has been unfortunately portrayed by many well-meaning Christians - Christians who have either tasted and forgotten what it was like or maybe have had the misfortune of being so beaten and trodden down that they've forgotten their first love. I am so convinced that if people could see Him as He really is that they would be beating down the doors of every church begging to know this Man for themselves. He is THAT GOOD! And then some.

What has caused this 'outburst' you may ask? All I did was lie down for a short break about 15 minutes ago because I knew I had to wake my boys up from their naps shortly and I asked God the question, "What do you want to show me about Yourself today because I know your goodness and mercy is pursuing me every single day of my life and I don't want to miss it...' and I just got hit with the overwhelming sense of His outrageous love for me. It is so beyond anything I could ever have imagined apart from the actual experience that I am lost for words sometimes. If you are reading this, I just want to tell you that God is waiting to pounce on you with His extreme goodness and His extreme, unreasonable blessing and love so that you may be a walking, living, breathing revelation of His heart to the world around you. People who see THIS God in you won't be running away, they will be begging to know Him for themselves. I pray that even as you read, that the Holy Spirit would jump through these words and attack you with His goodness and leave you completely ruined for anything less than the fullness of the life He died to give you in the here and now! Happy birthday to me! Happy life to you!

Reflections

Tonight is the eve of my 36th birthday. One year ago I made the decision to live in peace and to pursue it at all costs. I also made the decision to 'blog' about my journey as a means of sharing my experiences with others as well as developing my skills as a writer. Looking back over this year, I'm not only amazed at how quickly it has passed, but also at the changes in my life as a result of this decision. I'll be the first to admit that I haven't always remained in a state of peace, in fact, I've wandered far from it many times. But one thing I have developed is a keen awareness of my emotional state at any given moment. Not in an obsessive sort of way, but rather an internal thermostat if you will, one where peace is the 'set temperature' and any deviance from that by more than a couple of degrees sets off an alarm of sorts that lets me know I need to take the appropriate measures to restore that setting to its rightful position. I never realized how much I had ignored or suppressed emotions until I made a definite decision to influence them towards a positive end. There is so much power in sheer acknowledgment! I am so much more aware and honest with myself - and others- and 'owning' where I've been at internally has made a huge difference in dealing with the junk and moving on. I am going to take the next few days to really contemplate the changes in my life because I know there are many and I'm interested in taking stock. I will attempt to blog about anything I see that's been significant but for now, I just wanted to check in and celebrate the journey so far. I can't wait to see what the next year has in store for me!

Letter to My Heart

You and I have been through a lot together over the years. In the times I've acknowledged the voice of God within you leading me, I've experienced joy, love, peace, breakthrough and ecstasy beyond my wildest dreams. When I've ignored or resisted your quiet promptings, I've endured more pain and trouble than I'd like to admit...pain that was preventable had I just trusted that God's ways were, in fact, higher than my own. In short, I have often battled you with the thoughts of my mind, which for me are usually persistent and strong and sometimes overpowering when compared with your subtle cues. I guess I'm just writing to say 'I'm sorry.' I'm sorry that I haven't respected you and valued you more because you've been given to me by my Creator as a means of deep, intimate communication and Divine connection with the most important Person in my life - Jesus. I choose this day to take time to listen to you, to consciously 'quiet' my mind even more so that I can learn to recognize you on an even greater level and I purpose, by the grace of God, to follow His direction that is whispered to me through you as I know that only by Him am I able to fulfill my true purpose on this earth.

Around the World and Back Again

I'm sitting in the Brisbane airport with only 10 minutes to go before my time on the computer runs out. I am reflecting on my trip to California where I visited my sister Kristina for 2 weeks! What fun we had! We went to lots of school and church services and went to San Francisco for a day trip and had an all around great time (minus my emergency trip to the dentist to get a root canal! Ugh!) But on the upside of the dentist trip, I haven't had to use the pain meds they gave me at all as I've had no pain (even though the dentist said I'd have pain for 2 weeks!)
Anyway, what does this have to do with a blog about living in peace? To be honest, I'm not sure. I know that at Bethel Church where Kristina goes to school, the atmosphere is amazing. I had so much go on in and around me that I think I will need to take a couple of weeks to let things settle down internally and then reevaluate. I am coming back to a changed city as my hometown of Christchurch had a 6.3 earthquake while I was gone that brought down buildings and left much of the CBD in ruins. I have such a conviction that now, more than ever, we need to know how to maintain - and carry with us -an atmosphere of peace that pervades whatever circumstances we have to face. I know that people's lives will never be the same again as lives were lost in this earthquake and the recovery effort for bodies is still continuing. I have such a sense of anticipation though that good will come out of this devastation. My heart goes out to those who have lost houses and loved ones and I am determined to find a way to reach out when I get home. I know that what I've learned about living in peace will help others, I'm just not sure how to walk it all out yet. I'm excited to see where it's going to go from here. I feel as though I embarked on an adventure to the USA but it hasn't ended just because I'm coming 'home.' In fact, it's just beginning.
I have so much to be thankful for and am running out of time to write as I've been informed my time runs out in 40 seconds. Until next time...

Leaving on a Jetplane

Tomorrow I leave for America to see my sister in California. I'm excited and expectant. I haven't had a proper vacation since before my first son was born and he's just turned 3 so I feel well due for a holiday.

Much has happened since I've last written but as often happens with me, I find the internal changes difficult to put into words. I have felt as though almost too much was happening so I've consciously attempted to take a mental break as I find that trying to focus on too many areas of my life at once can seem overwhelming. I guess I just want to find a real place of balance. I want to know when to rest, when to work, when to talk, when to be silent etc. I think finding this balance comes more easily as I 'tune in' to the intuitive voice of my heart (or even better yet, the voice of God in my heart.) Once again, I'm learning the difference between external obligations and internal guidance. Sometimes the internal gets drowned out in the 'busy-ness' of life. I wonder if there are layers to this process as I know I'm much more aware of my heart's leading than I used to be, but I still have much to learn.

Part of my excitement about this trip is due to the fact that I know the time away from my everyday activities will enable me to look at things with fresh eyes. I have some goals for while I'm away and I look forward to what surprises are in store for me. It's an adventure and I'm packed and ready to go!

Life Changing Decisions

Sometimes I feel almost overwhelmed with the changes taking place in my life. I feel as though my life is changing on an exponential level... like there's a momentum that's been building and has a life of its own now and I'm just along for the ride. I made the decision almost 17 months ago that every day I would do something that would influence my heart level beliefs about who God is, how He felt about me and my identity in Him. Then last May I decided to actively pursue living in peace and to confront whatever beliefs or habits I had that prevented me from abiding in a peaceful state on a daily basis. I can say hands down that those two decisions would be two of the most significant decisions I've ever made for many reasons, but especially because my life is really working now! The way I want it to!

The first decision has involved a lot of meditation and active reflection on what God says about me. When I say meditation, I mean quieting my outer world down and tuning into my inner world and what's really going on inside and also actively visualizing what my life looks like 'in Him' and what it would look like if all His promises were actually working right now in my life. After all, as He is NOW, so are we in this world. Why don't we see more people living like this? Christians especially seem to get up in arms if you talk too much about meditation as they often assume you've gone all 'New Age' on them or something. They seem to forget that first of all, Christianity started as an Eastern religion and second, the Bible repeatedly speaks of meditating on the Word of God day and night and writing His truth on your heart because we ALL live unconsciously out of the beliefs of our hearts. I've heard a lot of teaching on this subject so I realize if it's new to you, you may not fully understand where I'm coming from. We live out of our hearts, not our minds. The beliefs we've adopted throughout our lives are what are currently keeping us in the state we're in. Like Einstein said, 'The significant problems we face cannot be solved at the same level of thinking we were at when we created them.' I see things in my life that I want to change and although it has been a somewhat painful experience at times, I believe wholeheartedly that changing my beliefs at a heart level (not mental assent) is the key to walking in the fullness of life at which I desire to live.

I also believe the Buddhist proverb that says 'When the student is ready, the teacher appears.' The amount of resources and material that have just 'happened to come across my path' is amazing in itself. Just 10 days or so ago, someone literally dropped a book into my lap and said they thought I might enjoy it and it was the exact material I needed for the next step I needed to take... oh, how I love serendipity!

Well, I could go on and on about the 'coincidences' that keep occurring in my life but I need to get my little boy out of bed so I will write more later. 'Til then, may your eyes be opened to the boundless opportunities that surround you every day and may you have the courage to grab them before they pass you by!

Be ALL That You Can Be

Living 'small' doesn't do you - or anyone else for that matter - any good in the long run. Let me clarify. I have been thinking about living life to its greatest potential and embracing the fullness of life God has intended for me to live from the beginning. He's given me, and everybody else, some unique characteristics and talents that He knew, when used well and faithfully, would benefit more than just ourselves. Obviously motive makes a big difference and we could devote an entire blog to motives but I don't want to get sidetracked so let's just assume our motive is love - for God, ourselves and others. It can't get better than that. If I'm motivated by love, then desiring to bless other people with my life and the good things I experience or possess is a natural outflow of this.

Aristotle said "Where talents and the needs of the world cross, therein lies your vocation." I like that. One of the main lessons I'm learning is that there is tremendous power in just 'being me.' Of course, I become more comfortable in my own skin as I realize how valuable I am in God's eyes and from that underlying awareness of being loved, I not only feel greater peace internally, but I am able to walk in paths of peace in my daily living. Not all the time, but certainly a lot more than I used to.

Writing this blog is sometimes hard. Not because I dislike writing, but because I find it hard to put my experience into a few paragraphs. I've said this before and I'll say it again, "This is a journey for the individual and I can't walk it for you." I can, however, cheer you on and tell you that it's well worth letting go of whatever preconceived notions or mindsets you may be holding onto that are preventing you from living in an abiding sense of peace and an abundant life.

Anyway, back to my original point... I wanted to write this post about avoiding 'small' living. In other words, staying in a place that is less than 'full capacity,' whether due to fear or culture or whatever. I'm not condemning the process of growth from smaller to bigger that we all must travel to get somewhere. I'm saying "Choose to be the BEST you can be rather than settling for the GOOD." This choice is incredibly exciting, but can be scary as well because not many people walk this road (after all, there is safety in numbers and we don't like to 'stand out') so the path can be lonely. I do believe it's worth it, though. It takes courage and guts because you are unique and your talents are unique so following your heart will take you on a unique journey for you and God. New heights, new adventures, new challenges, new discoveries.

I struggle internally when I hear people say "I don't need much to live on. Just as long as there's enough for me and my family to live, then I'm happy." Sometimes I want to shake them and say, "You selfish thing! What about the rest of the people in the world that could benefit from your increased success? If you don't need much to live on, then take what you need and succeed for the sake of others who don't have enough. Succeed for those who don't know how yet!" Narrow minded, small living pisses me off and I'm not going to do it anymore and I'll tell anyone who will listen not to settle for that lie either. I'm not saying live beyond your means or stress out about what you don't have. I'm saying take what you have in your hand and watch it multiply as you are faithful with what you have RIGHT NOW! This may be in the form of financial, intellectual, emotional, or physical talents. This isn't just about money. Let's commit to using what we have and seeing it increase to meet the needs of those we encounter. Jesus took what He had with the loaves and fishes and it was more than enough. What you have now is more than enough. Who are you to say you're nothing? Dare to live in all God has called you to. Dare to live BIG and watch the big God we have living on the inside of us multiply our resources for sowing and increase the fruit of our righteousness and rejoice in the cries of thanksgiving that will rise to Him from the lives we touch as a result.

That's all.

Take Time to Notice

I'm a bit strapped for ideas of what to write but I want to write anyway so am employing my 15-minute 'free flow' writing exercise to get this post out. It's not that I'm at a loss for words, more that I have so much going on that I don't know where to start... so what I'm going to do is just write and see what comes out.

Taking time to notice is a habit that I am learning to develop and the first idea that popped into my head as I started to write so we'll flow down this path and see where the trail leads. I know that we live in a day and age where we are in auto-pilot much of the time... going to work, doing the same basic things day in and day out and I think we sometimes get so caught up in the mundane, or even the chaos of the demands of everyday living that we don't even notice when something 'ruffles' our emotions or pain or discomfort in our bodies are trying to tell us to slow down. Often my life blurs from one day to the next as I repeat the same things over and over, especially with two small children who often need to have things repeated to them time and again while they're learning. And that's fine. I recognize the necessity of the 'season' of life that I'm in at the moment, but as I'm really starting to take notice of my emotions, my energy levels, my health and wellbeing on this peace journey that I'm on, I am becoming more and more aware of how I'm feeling internally at any given moment. Once upon a time I almost took pride in my ability to squash my emotions, especially the negative ones or the ones I associated with 'weakness' but I'm learning not to do that anymore. My emotions are like an indicator of my internal state at any given moment, and just like it would be silly to ignore a unusual lump in a certain part of my body and just hope that it would resolve itself, I can really see that noticing and acknowledging emotions - negative and positive - helps me become more aware of myself, how I react to certain environments, and possibly warning signs that things may not be as they should be and action should be taken. Taking the time to notice for me has helped me become more honest with myself which then has helped me become more 'real' with God and others and to live a more congruent life, which I think is essential to living in peace (I've spoken about this before.) Noticing doesn't require lots of effort and once you make the decision to do it, you'll be amazed at what you discover that you have possibly been tuning out. The biggest challenge after noticing is what you'll do with your discoveries but I do believe that this is a key step to walking in peace. Time's up... til next time. :)